I cried my eyes out walking up this hill earlier in the week. It started as a “cool cry”—tears leaking from the outside corners of my eyes. The kind I could wipe away, discretely, without anyone knowing. (Not that there was anyone around to notice the tears to begin with.)
Then, the cries turned to sobs—the kind of heaving movements that wracked my whole body, jarring my neck and crinkling my toes. At this point, I stopped walking, as it was impossible to climb a hill and sob in such a way. The “cool cry” had transformed into the “ugly cry”.
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My husband and I found our dream home—we actualized it in about two months flat last Fall. If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, you know this as the #PoconosCountryHome. This past week we spent a few days out here, testing things out, determining how we could both work remotely, dreaming about furniture placement, and being perfectly content with less-than-ideal sleep on two separate air mattresses. The rain has been relentless, but the fireplace casts an ambient glow and provides cozy warmth in our mountain retreat.
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A mouse appeared out of no where, and I am so thankful that the Propane Man (Dave) was here when the mouse showed itself. Honestly, it was pretty cute and fat, but I don’t dig things scurrying around under my feet. The ironic part of all of this was that our Brooklyn cat, Shakti, was in the house, but having little experience in such things, he remained curled up in his favorite spot—the guest bathroom sink. (Dave picked the mouse up by the tail and relocated him off the front porch, adhering to our vegan philosophy of “harm none.”)
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I have fallen deeper in love with my husband this week. As we learn to live between two places—our Park Slope apartment, and our new country home—there are things we are learning to do without, because we simply hadn’t thought of them until they are needed. Michael is so resourceful—he’s like MacGyver. His swiss army knife has opened cans of beans and chickpeas all week, and when I needed a putty knife to scrape tape off the windows, he handed me the cheese tool my little sister had sent in a care package. It worked like a dream. (Vegans have no use for cheese knives, but putty knives? YES!)
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So, back to the sobbing. The “cool cry” started as simple, sweet tears of gratitude. I was grateful for the quiet and solitude on the hill that morning. Over the past year, the noises of Brooklyn (even in the dead of night!) have upset me. My body has been telling me, in various ways, that I am in need of more space and quiet as I build the next phase of my brand. I was filled with so much gratitude to just experience the sound of wind and birds, and nothing else.
When the sobbing turned to the “ugly cry”, it was gratitude on a much deeper, soul level. I have vowed never to forget the reasons I started my business in the first place: I wanted to pee when I had to pee (School bell schedules dictated this for me, not my bladder.), I wanted to eat breakfast and do yoga every morning (FiberOne bars and train meditation didn’t count!), and I wanted to have time and freedom to do all the things I CHOSE to do. I realized, on that hill, between the loud sounds escaping my body, I had everything (and more!) that I originally desired to create with my own business.
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Is your business providing you the ultimate Time & Freedom you desire, your body desires, your lifestyle desires, and your bank account desires? For most of the people I talk with (including myself!), the answer is no! We desire more fun, more joy, more money, more time, and more freedom in our lives and businesses.
If you resonate with this desire, I am inviting you to join me at my three-day Truth Guide event in New Jersey, aptly named, Time & Freedom LIVE! Doors are open, and tickets are on sale. My mission is to help as many entrepreneurs as I possibly can create lifestyles that are filled with spaciousness and peace, and businesses that are highly profitable and serve others globally.
